Before I Grew Up

Maybe something that you may not know about me is that since I was VERY young I have been writing poetry. I remember in 2nd grade, I was fascinated with describing stuff in stories. I remember in one story in 2nd grade I wrote "the tall tall green grass" instead of "grass" as most kids would say in their story. I was on the Literary Magazine in high school. I had poems published in my high school yearbook. I took poetry classes in high school and college. I have written 100's of poems over the years. At one point in my life, it was a way to meditate and zone out. It was my escape to my inner world. I thought I might put a few of my poems up on my blog(every once and a while), some I have written over the years. This poem I'm going to post first, is one of my favorites. I wrote it in college.

Before I Grew Up

Feet are bare,
I run
through cherry blossoms.
Hair
lashes my back
and the air smells
soft.
A breeze
brand-new,
grips my breath
carries it
to hidden fairy tales.
Sunlight echoes
through my ears,
I can only hear
the hollow sounds
of laughter
as it funnels
through my core.
Pupils painted glitter
sink into the whites
of my eyes.
They stare wildly
at nothing,
only dandelion fuzz
and Queen Mary's Lace.

2011...Looking Forward

2011...
This year I turn 38. I will attend my 20 year high school reunion. I will be married for 18 years. Since knowing that my 20 year reunion is approaching, it has really got me pondering and taking a good look back on my life thus far. My greatest joy in life is my family. I am so grateful I made the decision to be a stay at home mother. Staying at home with my children makes me feel pure joy and happiness. I feel I have accomplished much, and feel very proud with the route I decided to take with my life. What does the next 20 years have in store for me? I will most likely see my 2 oldest marry and have children. Do I go back to school and start a career? Maybe. I think that might be nice, once my children are grown.
What do I want to accomplish in 2011?
I would love to live in a new home. It's time for us to move on. Now that Mason has a career plan in place here in SLC, it's time to get settled into a bigger home.
I have been thinking a lot lately about "serving my fellow man". I know that when we die, we will be asked "what have you done to serve your fellow man?" I feel I don't do enough at all. I want to change this about myself. My patriarchal blessing stresses this to me over and over. I am feeling the push from within that this is something I must do.
I want 2011 to be a big year for me. I am looking forward with much gladness and eagerness. 2010 was a big year for our family. There was much prayer and pondering on which path to take in the many forks in the road. This year, I am looking for more personal growth. I have thought a lot lately about the atonement. I have realized that I don't repent and use the atonement as I should be. Christ suffered for all of my sins, and I realized "am I just letting him suffer for them for nothing"? He did suffer for them, and what a WASTE not to repent. This is something I would like to work on.
2011...Happy New Year

Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve day, Mason and Connor took to the slopes. Mason enjoys cooking. He likes to be the one to make the Christmas prime rib. So as soon as he walked through the door from skiing he went straight to work on preparing the meat. He didn't even take off his ski pants and boots (as shown above).

That evening we had a family home evening Christmas lesson. I wrap the nativity set and # each piece. The kids read the Christmas story from the bible and unwrap each piece.

The last thing to do on Christmas Eve is make the Christmas traditional sticky buns, for breakfast the next morning. This is a Lutz family tradition. These are made the night before. Here is Shelby learning to make them.

Also on Christmas Eve, the table MUST be set for Christmas morning breakfast. (another Lutz tradition). I believe that on a holiday like Christmas, this is a time to be formal. I believe that there is a place and a time to be formal, and Christmas is certainly the time. Being formal makes it feel special. And it is special.

I have beautiful Christmas plates (a set of 12), that I just love! I made these felt silverware stocking holders, that are so cute. I hand embroidery stitched 12 of them. I always use cloth napkins, these are some I got from Mason many years ago as a gift. Stemware is something I really feel make a nice table.

I remember as a child this was my favorite thing to do. I assigned MYSELF to be in charge of the table every Christmas. I felt it was important then, and I still do.

So we had a nice Christmas Eve dinner, with prime rib, mashed potatos, gravy, bread, steamed broccolini, steamed califlower with homemade cheese sauce. Apple pie and ice cream

It's Christmas!!!

The kids got tons of stuff once again.
Shelby: UGG boots, clothes, make-up, Cd's (and more).
Connor: 2 huge Lego Star Wars sets, video games, board games, clothes, night vision goggles (and more).
Amy: leather jacket, boots, crock pot, clothes, purse,
Mason: got Video game, running shoes, new dress shoes for work, ski helmet, and new powder skis
Clover: Bike, and toys

Santa still came to all my naughty children.

Our little Christmas angel. She got a little on the cranky side. Most small children don't do well on Christmas mornings. It is overwhelming, strange, and to much over stimulation. But she loved her new bike.

COOKIES

Christmas cookies and holiday hearts, that's the way the holiday starts. Christmas cookies and holiday hearts...goodie goodie yum yum yum. Mommy Mommy, make a little more all the children say. Mommy Mommy make a little more, it'll soon be Christmas Day! Ok, that was a Christmas song my 30 yr old brother learned in kindergarten. Our family has been singing that Christmas song ever since. It is so catchy, my kids even sing it.

Last night we made Christmas cookies for neighbors.

Each kid got to eat one cookie. This is as far as Clover got to eating her cookie. The frosting on her fingers bugged her so much, that she just couldn't handle the pressure. (so I ate it for her)

Merry Christmas

Clover Ann-

What I Love Most In This Life...

1. hot baths with candles
2. my favorite 80's music
3. staying up late, by myself watching whatever I want
4. wrapping myself around my baby, snuggling my nose against her neck
5. wrestling and roughhouse on the floor with my boy
6. reading a book that I can't put down
7. having a deep meaningful conversation for a hour with my teenage daughter
8. watching my husband melt every time he is around his baby
9. long talks with my mother
10. that feeling I get (a high) when I "strike gold", when I find that ancestor I have been searching for.
11. that feeling I get when I get rid of a lot of junk
12. when my baby is so happy see me (50 times a day). It's always as if she is seeing me after a long trip.
13. when my son hugs me for no reason, other than he just wants to (which is a treat)
14. sitting alone with my husband enjoying some good sushi
15. looking at old photos, and reminiscing with my family
16. crying at a great movie (rare to find a great movie)
17. running into someone from my past
18. eating something amazing
19. when I realize I just had a spiritual moment
20. getting into a hot tub after being cold
21. the first moment I am alone with my newborn and I get to just look and ponder. What I am feeling at that moment is pure love.
22. the first moment when I find out I am pregnant. It is in that moment I realize my life has just changed.
23. the smell of lilacs
24. finding money in a old coat pocket
25. reading the Book Of Mormon, and feeling the spirit so strong.
26. knowing that my Heavenly Father knows me, knows my family, and realizing all of my blessings he has given to us. Really knowing this is amazing.

A Night In Bethlehem...West Jordan Style

It was a wonderful night in Bethlehem...

We had our ward party last night. This is the Christmas party that I had in mind after I did last years ward party. I am so glad that I got to stay around and see my "vision" play out for the evening. Most wards do something like this at least once, but our ward has never done it. It is a huge on taking, but I knew that it could be done.

Here is the census area where you signed the census and paid your taxes (can of food) before entering the market.

Most people came dressed in period wear.

At the end of the evening Mary and Joseph made there way through the market and then onto stage.

Everyone brought blankets to sit on to eat their meal.

Roman Soldier

We had great food at the market. Chicken salad sandwiches, pita bread, hummus. (was at this booth)

A full view of the market.

This is a picture I took before anyone arrived and before the food was brought out. You can see our well in the middle of the market street. We served water at the well. There were booths lining both sides of the street.

This was the fruit, cheese, veggi, and olive booth. We also had a bakery booth, where sweet breads and cookies were served.

We all had a great time. Our committee was so glad to be done with all the heavy planning and worrying.

Big Girl Bed

Last night Mason's sister Tessa came to visit us. She was here on business and dropped in to say hi. This was the first time that she has visited us. While she was here she helped Mason transform Clover's crib into a bed. What's nice with this crib is that it is used to grow with the child. Crib, child bed, then into regular sized twin headboard and footboard.

Clover has been climbing in and out of her crib and almost falling at times while doing it. It was time to do the big change (before she fell).

She was so excited to hop into her bed and go to sleep. She didn't even get up when we left her for the night. So now it's time to get her a pillow. I might just do that today, and get her a Dora pillow (since she LOVES Dora).

PARTY TIME

Lutz Christmas Party....always fun get together. Santa comes to our party every year. Last year Clover screamed. This year she was very nervous, but she did go up to him. She didn't want sit on his lap, so I had to sit on his lap with her sitting on mine. My sister got a picture of it, but has not sent it to me. This year we all brought potluck. We had tons of good food.
My mother and I worked on a project before hand. We gathered every Christmas photo we could of everyone (including the in-laws). I made a great video/slide show with Christmas music. It featured Christmas photos of everyone in the family growing up. It turned out fabulous, and everyone loved going down Christmas memory lane.

Santa was very silly

We stuffed ourselves....

MAKE SURE TO SEE MY VIDEO IN THE POST BELOW

(more pictures of the party are posted on Facebook)

We All Want Things We Can't Have

Santa came last night to the Lutz Christmas party. Here is Connor with Santa.

Move News

Most of you were kept in the dark on what has been going on with the whole big move. We are no longer moving to San Diego. That's right, you don't have to go back and re-read that last sentence- we are not moving to San Diego. Where do I begin?



You all know that this last summer we took a little trip to Warsaw Indiana. A large orthopedic company named Zimmer gave Mason a job offer. This offer came at the same time Mason's firm (Ernst & Young) had a opening in San Diego. Mason decided that transferring to CA in the firm would be better for him in his career than staying in UT. So we had to decide which was better, staying with the firm or taking the offer from Zimmer. We decided to go to San Diego. Mason started work in the San Diego office in July (and got a HUGE raise) with the cost of living higher there.



Mason is not happy working in the San Diego office. Our house is not selling because of the crappy recession. We got an offer on the house and it fell through. Mason is gone 6 days a week traveling to CA. Mason is really feeling he is done with San Diego. Then low and behold Zimmer came back to him (last week) and gave him the offer AGAIN but with a higher salary. Mason went back to his firm and said "I'm done with San Diego, and I just got a job offer". Ernst & Young decided they didn't want to see him go. They offered him more money than what he was making in CA (to live in UT) and also came up with a plan to keep him in Salt Lake and in 2-3 years time make him a Executive Director. We did a lot of prayer again. Do we go to Indiana or stay with the firm? We chose stay in Salt Lake with the firm.



Now that we both look back on the events of the last half of the year it all makes sense. We were not supost to move to San Diego. When we were in San Diego looking at homes, I felt that it was not were our family should to be. If the offer on the house had gone through, then we would have had to be out by November 10th. We would have HAD to move to CA (which again is not where we were to be). We were even prompted to take our house off the market a month ago. When the offer on the house fell through, at first I was really bummed. Then I got the overwhelming feeling that this was for a reason. This was all part of "the plan". I felt at peace and just waited for it to all unfold. It did.



We are still planning to move out of our house. We have out grown our home, and looking for something much bigger. We plan on looking to buy in the South Jordan area. We will maybe move in the summer.



(I guess I shouldn't have sold the kid's sleds and snow shovel in the yard sale)

Birthday Video

She's 2 Now

Clover Ann Coltrin...our Thanksgiving baby. I had to get her a "fall" cake that is so fitting.

Normally she loves pizza. She is excited for the pizza to come out of the oven. But she was in a mood not to eat anything....but cake!

Clover is deep in thought, pondering where the years went.

That cute little "scrunch the daddy nose"

DIG IN CLOVER....IT'S TIME TO EAT YOUR CAKE FOR DINNER (for Petes sake) and she ate it all of course!

Clover Ann, so very thankful for her. No one will really realize how much I adore her. How much she makes my life complete. How much happiness she brings to my life. I love her so much it's scary. I guess the constant crying and yearning for her for years, made my bond with her unusual. When I brought her home from the hospital, it hit me that I really got her. I remember just holding her and weeping for joy. I have never gotten over that joy. I look at her everyday with so much gratitude. I wonder if she will ever really "know" how I feel about her. Perhaps to some degree when she has her own.

stuck, stuck, STUCK!

We got 14 inches of snow dumped on us last night. If you click on this picture you can read the height of snow measured.

There is just no way we were able to make our way all the way to the church today in 14 inches of snow. Our church is pretty far away, just no way we were going to head out in this stuff. But Clover and Connor (buddies), wanted to play in the first BIG snow. They headed out to the back yard. I don't have snow pants for Clover so I layered her pants and put on leg warmers over her pants. The snow is so deep that of course Clover was up to her waist.

stuck, stuck STUCK! She couldn't move.

Bubba (that is what Clover calls Connor) helped her to another area that was packed down for her.